michael_gothard_archive | Entries tagged with depression

A fan of Michael's, Belsizepark, had sent a card to M.T. at Shirlock Road to request a meet-up. As there was no response, she decided to leave a message at the house. It was 1st or 2nd July 1999, the weekend after what would have been Michael's 60th birthday.

“The door was open, and I saw a woman … a 'Phoebe Cates' type. When I entered the house I asked her if she was M.T., and then introduced myself.
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Former girlfriend N.B.

"I knew he had bouts of depression even during the time we were together. He saw a therapist but not very regularly, but his illness got worse after we had split up.

I don’t know what medication he took, but I am absolutely sure that his suicide was an accident: a moment of weakness and total despair. Had he been able to overcome that moment, he would live to this day! He never said that he would kill himself."

Former girlfriend, M.T.

Per. Belsizepark, who met M.T. in 1999:
She [last] saw him five days prior his death. A friend found him in the morning, and his face looked relaxed. He used a rope.

Patients were shocked about his death; he helped so many.

He had a beautiful funeral service with jazz music; it was held at Golders Green Crematorium. M.T. arranged everything of the funeral and his estate. Jazz was played at his memorial service, which was held at Golders Green Crematorium.

Friend, Sean McCormick

"The first and biggest one of course would have to be, was he a victim of fluoxetine?

I've lost seven people of importance in my life to suicide; three of the deaths were directly linked to fluoxetine.

Michael's was the first one.

I'm not closed mouth on my feelings regarding fluoxetine, and the supposed professional pushers that hand the shit out like candy (it's very sad) without taking the time to figure out whether it's right for the person or not. And unfortunately, when they figure it out, it's too late.

It is my understanding that it had been prescribed to him, and he'd been off and on with it for some time. But he had stopped taking it because he (as in so many cases) absolutely hated the total zombie side-effect of the shit, and figured it would be better to be depressed and have your self back than to keep taking it and end up a door-stop.

In the two other deaths of friends of mine on fluoxetine, they too had stopped it because of the zombie-door-stop thing within weeks of killing themselves."

Oliver Tobias and Benedict Freitag

When dedicating a tree to Michael Gothard, Oliver said: “He was a sensitive man – perhaps too sensitive,” and spoke of remembering Michael holding his head on his lap when the spear had hit him, and he nearly died.

He also mentioned Jack Watson. He said he felt privileged to be the one left alive. Then, clearly affected, he drove the commemorative stake into the ground with considerable force.

Oliver’s brother, Benedict Freitag, who had once met Michael, (before ‘Arthur of the Britons’) and performed a Cheyenne ceremony at the site, said that Michael didn’t have the filters you need, to stop yourself feeling all the suffering going on in the world – “otherwise you give yourself the bullet.”

Though Oliver had gradually lost touch with Michael Gothard after filming the series, it seems likely that Michael’s death was the reason he had closed away the memory of ‘Arthur of the Britons.’

Director, John Glen

"I remember him as a very pleasant person as well as a fine actor ... I was shocked to hear of Michael's untimely death.”

Actress, Mathilda May

"I remember him as a lovely person; a gentleman ..."

“Batman” on Britmovie Forum

"Michael's career had hit a bit of a decline, but he had appeared on stage and had made two films (Christopher Columbus and Frankenstein) in the year prior to his death. He had suffered from depression most of his life and this, alongside personal problems, contributed to his early death. RIP Michael."

Michael Gothard’s death was registered in the London Borough of Camden.
He died on Wednesday 2nd December 1992.

He was described as “Actor and Therapist.”

An inquest, held on the 5th January 1993, concluded:
“Cause of death is Hanging
Took his own life on account of his illness.”

An article in the Hampstead and Highgate local paper said that “the inquest was told that he had been receiving treatment for depression.”

Angharad 24 was lucky enough to hear from Xavier, a friend of Michael’s, who got to know him pretty well during the late eighties.

Xavier and the others in his group – all now professional musicians – were about 20 years younger than Michael. Michael was very happy to find a younger generation so interested in jazz and blues, and they became friends. He seemed to enjoy the company of younger people, and they enjoyed his.

Michael was a really very nice bloke, who was generous and open most of the time. He was not at all egotistical; rather Xavier thought him self-effacing, and burdened by self-doubt, which probably had a detrimental effect on his career.

When they first met, Xavier had never heard of him, and was only told that he had been in films such as “For Your Eyes Only” and “The Devils” by the others. Michael never spoke much about his films, and didn’t name-drop, though he had acted with some of the best-known actors of the century. He did express frustration at being offered ‘hit-man’ roles, and hoped he would be given a chance to get out of them, but said, ‘nobody wanted me.’

Xavier felt sure that playing a part well meant more to Michael than money or fame.

He loved music and just wanted to learn more. He played saxophone and drums well, but even in music, Mike would have moments where he would say “Oh, I’m no good at this.” Xavier thought he was self-taught, because he would ask for help with reading difficult music.

The whole group loved “Some Like it Hot”, and Michael thought that Marilyn Monroe was a great actress.

He had around three different girlfriends in the years 1989 – 92. He said he wouldn’t have minded marriage but did not want children. Unfortunately, most of the girls he’d been with had wanted them. He liked children, but had no ‘paternal feelings.’

Once, a young female punk walked into the bar where they were meeting, and drank out of a bottle. Michael asked why women thought they had to dress up and behave like men to get liberated, and said these young women didn’t know they were born! His grandmother and mother had lived very hard lives, but they came through it and bettered themselves while retaining their femininity. “My mother always made sure that she dressed nicely and kept her appearance and femininity throughout” (or words to that effect). Nevertheless, Xavier thought Michael was definitely in favour of equality.

Michael had a fierce hatred of Thatcher. He was a champion of the working classes, and Xavier thinks he would have voted Labour.

Xavier and the others knew of Michael’s depression. He told them he could go for weeks on end just not wanting to join the rest of the world, and that at one time he’d had to drop out of a project in the early stages, because he just couldn’t force himself to go to the studio. He also said that making and listening to music soothed him.

Xavier was out of the country and hadn’t seen Michael for about a year when he heard of his death. The whole group were very upset.

This follows on from Sean's previous account here.

We moved back to London two years later [late 1984] to work on ‘Labyrinth.’¹

Michael and M.T. had divorced² in the two years I was gone, but decided to stay friends.

I rented a room from him. He owned the house, and I think, if memory serves, that there were 5 bed-sits, all with their own kitchens (sort of).
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N.B., a former girlfriend of Michael’s, was kind enough to talk to me, and answer some questions. Here is what she told me:

"I was amazed at hearing about your project. I am sure Michael would have been even more surprised to find people still honouring his work as an actor some twenty years later. He wouldn't feel he was worth the trouble."

Getting to know Michael

"I got to know Michael on a crisp spring Sunday morning in 1984 in the “Brasserie Dome”¹ in Hampstead. He sat there having his cappuccino and reading the Sunday paper. I was having breakfast with a friend of mine. I was living in London as an au-pair, and so was my friend; we cherished our fee day away from the family where we lived and worked.

My friend knew Michael, because he had taken her out for dinner some weeks previously and she said hello to him across the tables. She pointed out who he was and I immediately recognised him thanks to his glasses. They were the ones he wore in the Bond film “For Your Eyes Only.”
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Michael in Paris, circa 1960. My friend and landlord of my first solo flat. I miss him dearly and think of him and his "Shakespearean" way every single day. Oh, how fondly I cherish the memories of our roof top cups of Earl Grey, and puffs of hash.
A magnificent man.

I first got in touch with Sean McCormick after seeing this photo, and the dedication below it, on a general memorial website. Sean very kindly shared some memories with me.

Michael Gothard was a family friend, whom Sean first met in London in June 1981, just after ‘For Your Eyes Only’ (in which Michael appeared as assassin Emile Locque) came out. They continued to meet and socialise until Sean moved back to New Mexico, late 1982, and Sean also rented a room from Michael in 1984/5, when he returned to London to work.

Sean's account: 1981-2

… my dad and I earned our living on the streets with our Punch & Judy show, and it had taken us to London where my dad landed a job working for Jim Henson on ‘The Dark Crystal.’¹ My mom was hired as a buyer and I started my apprenticeship.

Dan² once again got the bug to get out of the States, and he wanted to learn stain glass, so he decided to make his way to London.

Before his arrival he gave us the name and phone number of an old friend of his from the Paris days; he was an actor, and maybe we could get together and network a little.
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Transcript

You may recognise him as a screen and television star. But Jerry Bauer talks to the real Michael Gothard.
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You may recognise him as a screen and television star. But Jerry Bauer talks to the real Michael Gothard.

The Three Musketeers, the film Michael Gothard is making, is set in Estudios Roma, the film centre outside Madrid. The temperature is close to a hundred, although one tried not to think about it.

“The Three Musketeers and I seem to have an affinity for each other. In this film version I portray Felton, the lover of Madame de Winter – Faye Dunaway but on television, I was Madame de Winter’s son in yet another dramatisation. Presumably, I was chosen by Richard Lester for this role because he’d seen me as the inquisitioner in The Devils. Both characters are repressed, violent and mad.”
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At a fan meeting in August 2010, Oliver Tobias spoke about the filming of “Arthur of the Britons.”

“Out of the blue, a memory which I had closed away … it’s quite emotional …”

When asked about the casting, he said that his and Michael Gothard’s audition consisted of them, and 4 horses – they had to ride various horses to the top of the hill and back together a number of times. Obviously the chemistry between them was an important factor, as well as horsemanship.

“They cast us for who we were at the time. We were allowed complete freedom as … how we were.”

He said that they improvised a lot of the action, and they weren’t given any direction on how to deliver any of their lines.

He remembered filming as having taken a year, though in reality it must have been closer to eight months. “We [Oliver Tobias, Michael Gothard and Jack Watson] more or less lived on set.”

During ‘The Challenge’, the third-filmed episode, in which Arthur (Oliver Tobias) and Kai (Michael Gothard) spend at least half of the episode fighting each other, they worked with Bristol’s champion javelin thrower on the spear-throwing scene.

Oliver thought he was young and athletic enough to jump out of the way in time, but he didn’t make it. The spear glanced off the inside of his shield instead of the outside, and hit him on the back of the head. “When it hit me it was like a ship running aground.”

He remembers looking around, and seeing Michael. Later he said Michael held his head in his lap. “Christ I’m lucky to be here – I nearly died during filming …”

He is said to have thought of Michael like a brother. He and Michael used to play tricks on each other, and to try and pile up mounds of earth to stand on, so they would be taller than the other. Oliver said that the stories were so harsh, they needed an outlet. The series was “like a war zone.”

However, he also said that of all his roles, he identifies most with Arthur.

When dedicating a tree to Michael Gothard, Oliver said: “He was a sensitive man – perhaps too sensitive,” and spoke of remembering Michael holding his head on his lap when the spear had hit him, and he nearly died. He also mentioned Jack Watson. He said he felt privileged to be the one left alive. Then, clearly affected, he drove the commemorative stake into the ground with considerable force.

Oliver’s brother, Benedict, who had once met Michael, (before ‘Arthur of the Britons’) and performed a Cheyenne ceremony at the site, said that Michael didn’t have the filters you need, to stop yourself feeling all the suffering going on in the world – “otherwise you give yourself the bullet.”

Though Oliver had gradually lost touch with Michael Gothard after filming the series, it seems likely that Michael’s death was the reason he had closed away the memory of ‘Arthur of the Britons.’

“The Further Adventures of the Musketeers” was a BBC drama series, based on Alexander Dumas' sequel to "The Three Musketeers", entitled "Twenty Years After." The sixteen episodes were broadcast on BBC1, at 5:25 pm on Sundays.

Michael Gothard is credited for appearances in ten of the sixteen episodes, and very briefly appears in another. He plays Mordaunt, formerly John Francis de Winter, the vengeful son of Milady de Winter. Milady was executed by the Musketeers in the previous series, "The Three Musketeers."

This series, which features many stalwarts of British entertainment, had languished in the BBC archives for nearly 50 years, unseen by the public, until May 2016, when it was finally released on DVD by Simply Media.¹ Perhaps we should consider ourselves lucky that it had not simply been "lost", like so many productions of the BBC's earlier years.

In an interview that appeared in ‘X’-Films Vol.3 No 1 in 1973, Michael briefly mentioned this role:

“That show [‘Arthur of the Britons’] was the one I got the most public notice from. I also did another TV series five years ago, called “The Further Adventures of the Musketeers.” I was playing the villain in that, but I used to get more fan mail than the bloody hero! So, I had an image then, but I don’t know what it was.”

Watching the series now, it is not hard to see why he got so much fan mail. A classic anti-hero, Mordaunt appears more dynamic than the - much older - Musketeers, and his dedicated pursuit of his goal stands in stark contrast to their muddled and often self-serving aims.

D’Artagnan responds to an appeal from Queen Anne, whom he and his friends previously helped in covering up her betrayal of her husband, King Louis XIII. But he is also looking for advancement in the Service, and persuades Porthos to join him - on the promise of a barony - in working for the Queen and Mazarin, against rebels led by Rochefort and the Prince de Beaufort.

Their other old friends, Athos and Aramis, are on Rochefort’s side, and the four spend some time working against each other, while trying to remain friends. When Mazarin sends D’Artagnan and Porthos to England to negotiate with Cromwell, they forget about their mission, and team up with Athos and Aramis in trying to save King Charles from the man with whom they are supposed to be negotiating. They are constantly changing their minds and squabbling amongst themselves. They fail to save Charles, and it is only thanks to a servant, Grimaud, and his desire for wine, that they avoid being blown up by Mordaunt.

They manage to kill Mordaunt, and they negotiate peace between the warring parties in France, and rewards for themselves - but this seems more by luck than judgement.

Mordaunt’s single-minded quest to avenge his mother’s death seems, if not admirable, at least understandable. In episode 13, when he is surrounded by all four Musketeers, he appears quite brave in standing up to the more experienced swordsmen, and he fights well against D’Artagnan.

Michael also referred to the series in an interview in a Marvel Super Special Magazine: For Your Eyes Only on-set report, which came out in 1981.

"I've been killed in so many different ways on both the large and small screens," he said wryly. "I've been hanged, stabbed, strangled, shot, immersed in an acid bath, crashed on a motorcycle, killed by a 10-year-old boy by a vicious blow to the spine, drowned and – on one memorable occasion – stabbed and drowned simultaneously.”

The “memorable occasion” was in “The Further Adventures of the Musketeers.”

Fellow actors

This was the first of three productions in which Michael Gothard worked with Brian Blessed. Blessed played Porthos in "The Further Adventures of the Musketeers" in which Michael Gothard played Mordaunt. He also played Korski in "The Last Valley", in which Michael played Hansen, and Mark of Cornwall in "Arthur of the Britons", in which Michael played Kai.

The creator of this archive met Brian Blessed in 2011, and showed him some pictures of fans dedicating a tree to Michael. Brian didn’t even know Michael had died.² When told that Michael had killed himself in 1992, he became serious, and said that he was sorry.

He said that Michael was depressed when he knew him. Michael used to say, “Oh, Brian, I don’t know if I’ll make it as an actor. No one seems to like me”,³ and he had a lot of bad luck – saying that some bloke he’d paid to decorate his house left the job half-finished.

Brian mentioned working with Michael on the “Further Adventures of the Musketeers.” He said: “We killed him in the end.”

Morris Perry who appeared as Captain Groslow, in 1979 played Radouk in the episode of “The Professionals”, in which Michael played Kodai. In 1980, they worked together again, in “A Tale of Two Cities.” Morris Perry played the Marquis St. Evremonde, who is killed by Michael’s character Gaspard, in revenge for the death of his daughter.

John Woodvine, who plays Aramis, was also to feature in “The Devils” as Trincant – a film in which Michael played a starring role as Father Barré.

Joss Ackland, who appeared as D'Artagnan in this series, later played D'Artagnan's father in the two Musketeers films in which Michael Gothard played John Felton.

Episodes of "The Further Adventures of the Musketeers" in which Michael appeared, with the introductory quotation from the Radio Times:

3. Conspiracy (4 June 1967)
“I see a man, a Royal Prince, defying bolts, bars, and fortress walls. I see him free … two days from now. At seven o’clock.”

4. Conflict (11 June 1967)
“The King’s name is no password here. To the sword, sir!”

5. Peril (18 June 1967)
“There is only one man in France I would trust with these secrets. You must destroy these papers … or die.”

6. Abduction (25 June 1967)
“People like us, madam, must not trust even our own two hands.”

7. The Boy King (2 July 1967)
“Monsieur D’Artagnan, you are under arrest. The King has vanished.”

9. Escape (16 July 1967)
“Your Majesty, I promise that anyone who has the audacity to touch you will die.”

10. The Oath (23 July 1967)
“You cannot live without me, my love. I am your star, your protector, your husband. We will make this true before God.”

11. The Trial (30 July 1967)
“Never doubt me again, Athos. I vow to take upon myself all that concerns the delivery of the King.”

12. The Scaffold (6 August 1967)
“We are about to separate before the most desperate adventure of our lives – the most glorious! We shall not fail.”

13. Treachery (13 August 1967)
“Athos, you are becoming imbecile. Do you realise our situation? It is kill or be killed.”

¹ The production features a disclaimer about the quality of the footage, but this turns out to be better than expected, though the subtitles are not to be relied upon.

² It was hardly surprising that Blessed missed the news, given how little coverage it received. Also, he would have been preparing for one of his attempts on Everest at the time.

³ It was not clear whether Michael thought no one seemed to like him professionally, or personally, though the former seems more likely.

IMDB entry